Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Racial Stuff

Things that my mind comes up with after working a 12-hour split shift.

As I stated earlier, I am whiter than the Grand Wizard of the Klukers. But since I was born in the Puerto Rico, I am considered a minority. Some time ago, I was telling my wife that I wanted to expand on this issue a little more with our kids. You know, the whole crap with the public schools about making sure that the schools are "socio-economically" equal. Socio-economically equal my left nut!!!

Sorry, little anti PC rant there. Anyway, because I am a "Can", my kids are considered a minority. Hey skool system, just because their last names are Spanish does not mean that they have to be automatically placed for ESL (English as a Segundo Lenguaje) testing.

My father in law is of Irish descent, and my mother in law is of Swedish descent. Now here is the real fun part with the PC crap. Technically, my wife is Taiwanese/Chinese. She was born in Taipei, the capital of Taiwan. And under international law, she is technically a Taiwanese/Chinese citizen.

After adding all of these things up, I came to the conclusion that our kids are Puerto Rican-Chinese-Irish-Swedish-Americans. The skool board has no idea where to place them for racial equality, gotta love it. Now, since Puerto Ricans (as all Hispanics) are drunks, and the Irish are also drunks; guess the kids will be sots after all. And the Chinese part of not being able to drive worth a crap, damn, my insurance rates will go thru the roof when they start to drive!!! And lets not forget the Swedish part of their heritage. No habla Ingles, drinking, no driving, meatball cooking fools.

I wonder what type of government assistance I can try to get from the Feds by claiming all this racial mixing with my kids.

Friday, June 24, 2011

The Nicest People on Earth

And who dare pray would be referred to as the nicest people or country on Earth?  Our lovely neighbors to the north, the Canadians.  And how 'bout that Stanley Cup playoffs?  The US won.  Of course, our nicest people on Earth neighbors decided they needed to riot to show their disappointment in loosing the Stanley Cup to the yahoos in the US. 

So you see, they are just as rude and volatile as we are.  And don't forget all those lovely G-20 riots that they love to throw every time they meet in Canada. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

Joy Riding Aliens

Can someone explain to me how is it that I can get dirty looks from my lovely wife by watching National Geographic or The History Channel?  Maybe it is the comments that I make during the shows.

The other night, we were watching a show about aliens from space, not Mexico or Canada.  The main topic was the Roswell incident.  They were talking about the supposed crash of the alien UFO, and how the military got involved.  While the show goes on to tell us about the debris field, the items that were collected, the "strange characters" that were found etched on some metal; I got to thinking. 

After watching the show and seeing all they had to offer, I came to the conclusion that the Roswell incident was nothing more than intergalactic teens that were out joyriding in their parent's UFO.  Think about it.  It occurred in a remote area, no one was notified, and all that was found was just pieces.  Yes, it was teen aliens that crashed and then took off.  Or is it that the aliens are using our planet as main drag?  After all, how many UFO sightings have been reported in the last 50 years?  And why is it that it always involves more than 1 UFO?  Drag racing aliens.  How else can you explain the speed and the maneuvers that they do?

Yep, the little darlings are using our planet as their "out in the middle of nowhere" place to do their drag racing.  And just like down here, where are the cops when the kids are out racing? 

She keeps telling me something about the reason she made this blog for me.