Friday, May 27, 2011

My Wife Said This Is Why She Made Me A Blog

My latest Canadian Conspiracy, part IV...

I am watching the History Channel. Yes, the History Channel. It is a new episode about Big Foot: The Definitive Guide. You know, as in Harry and The Henderson's movie (damn, I am that old). Big Foot, the big ole hairy-knuckle dragging-no thinkin' redneck...sorry, I was thinking about the John Boy and Billy radio show.

Anyhow, Big Foot is also known as Sasquatch. And you may be wondering, how does this tie with the Great Canadian Conspiracy? I made to comment to my lovely wife Kristin, that since Big Foot is also known as Sasquatch, if Big Foot is really from Saskatchewan. As in Saskatchewan, Canada. While watching the TV show, they mentioned that the sightings of Big Foot are concentrated in Oregon, Washington state, Idaho and western Montana; stretching up into Western Canada. Of course,all these sightings started to occur after WWII. This was around the same time that the little brown skinned folks started to migrate north into the US. I guess that the Canadians decided to hide the Sasquatches, so they would not scare the hell out of the Mexicans that made it into Canada.

Of course, by having the Sasquatches migrate from Saskatchewan into the woods of Oregon and Washington state, they are causing havoc among the locals. Think about it. A bunch of white folks talking about seeing Big Foot in the woods. A big ole hairy ape thingamajig. Right! How much have you been drinking while out in the woods? Why is is that there are no reported sightings of Sasquatch in Canada? Because they want the US folks to look like a bunch of crazy demented yahoos. That is why. Then, they will gladly step in and publicly offer to help us with their Universal Health Care for mental patients, the Canadian internet pharmacies, Chrysler cars, and Moose Head beer. Sneaky eh?

Sasquatch, Saskatchewan, Justin Bieber (yes, another Cannuck). Are they related? Is it a coincidence that Sasquatch and Saskatchewan sound so similar alike? Is there a reason that Justin Bieber is on this list? Yes, because his original hairstyle was so floppy and long haired, that he could have looked like a well groomed teen medium foot. Not a Big Foot, he is not old enough yet.

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