Mental Midgets, Government Budgets, Death and Rants

Another fun filled rant from the mind of me. Today, I will rant about mental midgets (folks that should have received a lobotomy), government budgets and recent deaths.

First off, the mental midgets. I should be thankful for them, otherwise I would not have a job. Let me give you an example. On the local TV station web site, they have a public blog. Of course, you guess that it would attract trolls, elves, and whatever else they had in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Every time there is a story about any new construction by any of the towns or county, he/she always posts "I hope they are not using tax money." If the city is going to build a new fire station or sewage treatment plan, this genius cannot figure it out? So how can we look at this?

• It is a local government project!!!
• Of course they will use tax money for it!!!
• Worst of all, I bet you vote!!!

We are also aware that illegal immigration is the new hot button topic with politics. And we have our share of "undocumented"--give me a *^#%!@( break, they are illegal. Every time there is an article about the local, County or State budget shortfall, there is a group from Mensa that post something like...

• Well, if the County (remember that word) school system would stop enrolling the kids from illegals, we could balance the State budget. After all, there must be close to 50,000 illegal kids in our county school system--Our state has a 4+ Billion dollar deficit. Our County school system has 137,706 shidren in the system. According to the latest figures, our County has about 8.4% Hispanics. Therefore, 8.4% of the total student population comes to about 6.09%. Folks, I did not excel in math and science, and I can figure it out.
• These illegals are the reason that our unemployment and welfare costs have gone up so high. Right. That is the reason that 8.4% of the population has more unemployed than the 72.9% of Whites in our State. Some of these "politically correct" numb nuts even say that up to 1 million illegals in our state is the reason for our unemployment and welfare cost.
  
• After all, they are taking jobs from hard working Americans. Sure Biff. That's the reason there is such a large line outside of McDonalds and Burger King. Of course, Biff and Buffy will not tell you that they will not take any job that pays less than $75k per year. After all, they just graduated from college with a BS in bull shit.

And what really scares me about stuff like this is, that they breed, and they vote. These are the type of folks that I want to tell them "And you really expect me to believe that of over 1 billion sperm, you are the one that won?" These braniac should take up hobbies like sky diving, hand gliding, explosive manufacturing or other activitiues that will increse their odds of winning a Darwn Award.

State Budgets.
We all know that our cities, Counties and States are in financial trouble. About 2 years ago, NC had about a $1.5 Billion surplus. Now we are looking at about a $4 Billion deficit. Unemployment is at its highest since the Great Depression, workers are being laid off all over, businesses are failing, and we have folks that are having to make decisions from pay check to pay check as to what bill does not get paid this time so I can feed my kids. Now, North Taxalina will bring about some new taxes.

• Forget the "temporary" tax on foods that has been on the books since 1966. It ain't coming out.
• The state will increase the cost of fees, registrations for cars, etc.
• NC will now start taxing (6%) sales tax on 55 non-taxed services, such as car repair bills, plumber bills, lawn work, and a whole shitload more.
  
• We will now pay a full 6% sales tax on our utilities such as electricity, water/sewer, natural gas.
  
• Of course, the state will not tax legal services nor accounting services. Could it be because a majority of our part time Legislators are lawyers and accountants/CPA's?

I wanted to tell our Governor and Legislature that there are some other taxes they forgot about;

• The Fart Tax. That is right. A 1-cent tax for every time that you pass gas, cut the cheese, toot the horn, blow it out of your ass (literately) or just plain fart. I guess since all the Hispanics eat Mexican food (since the brainiacs think that if you have a Spanish name your are an illegal) then they are really going to be paying their share of the tax for a change. This will also be good to help cut on green house gas emissions.
  
• The Oh Shit Tax. A 25 cent tax everytime that you take a dump. Just think, if you are full of shit, then you will be paying a higher tax. Again, since they Hispanics eat a lot of Mexican food (see above), then they will be paying a higher percentage of the tax.
• The Piss Tax. Since the state is taxing everything, and raising the tobacco and alcohol tax, you will be so depressed that you will drink more. This will lead to peeing more often, which means every time you tinkle, there is a 10-cent tax.
  

Of course, we are all facing the same problems. Our states are not willing to cut off duplicate services or totally worthless services, so we get shafted again. All this talk about taxes reminds me about....

Death.

In August of 2008, Bernie Mack and Isaac Hayes (Chef's chocolate salty balls) died. Jessie Jackson ranted that we needed to have some type of investigation, that 2 famous blacks died in the same month. I did a google search, and Alexander Solzhtenitsyn (Russian writer), Fred Crane (actor in the 40's and 50's), Gladys Powers (last surviving female veteran from WWI) and Dave Freeman (author of 100 Things to do Before You Die)--bet he didn't see that one coming--passed away. I did not hear anyone calling for an investigation as to why so many Whities were dropping dead.

Lets fast forward to June 2009, to early this week, before Michael Jackson died. Farrah Fawcette died, and so did Ed MacMahon. I guess that Ed is next to Johnny Carson, laughing at his corny jokes. One thing is for sure, he will not be ringing my doorbell, to tell me that I won the Publishers Clearing House grand prize. Which made me think, that leaves Dick Clark left to deliver those. Then I realized, that he cannot, since he is singing the Carter Clarence song Strokin.